As my father-in-law would say.....

drama, drama, drama.

Yesterday was one of the most positive days I've had lately. I just felt really good about myself and really positive about "George's" coming and how all of that would play out. I think it helped that pretty much the only thing I did yesterday was go shopping with my friend Bri! That kept me from sitting at home twiddling my thumbs waiting for the little man to show up!!!

R and I enjoyed dinner together and then went to Target to look at some stuff; came home and watched some TV, went for a walk. It was looking like just a pleasant evening. I started to feel a little anxious about the fact that the little man had been moving non-stop for an hour and a half. I've read in a few different places about monitoring fetal movement and that if it seems like the baby is moving frantically that it could be a sign he's in distress. I wasn't sure how to gage whether his movement was frantic, but he's definitely never been THAT active before. I called my doctor and she said if his movement is excessive that I should go in to labor and delivery and get monitored to make sure everything is okay.

We packed up the car with all our gear just in case we ended up staying. We get to the hospital a little after 10pm. Because of the lateness of the hour we have to enter through the emergency entrance since they lock the other hospital doors for security. A nice man on staff walks us all the way to labor and delivery and leaves us at the nurses' station with the assurance that someone will be right with us.

And so the drama begins...... We stand there for a few minutes wondering if we're going to be completely ignored, when a nurse stands up, coughs really loud, and asks who our doctor is. Cough, cough. We tell her and are somewhat reassured when she already knows who I am 'cause our doctor had called ahead to let them know I was coming. Cough, cough. They discuss among themselves what room to put me in and we head off (cough, cough) down the hall to check me into a room for monitoring. She tells R he has to wait until they've checked me in...wait a minute...this isn't the way it's supposed to be happening...whisked off to the room leaving R behind. Cough, cough. I put on my gown and get hooked up to the fetal monitor and hear the little man's heartbeat strong and steady. Phew. Cough, cough. I get asked a whole slew of questions all the while wondering when R can come in and knowing he's about to flip out waiting outside!

She finally gets through with the questions and I have to ask her if the baby's heartrate looks okay and all. Cough, cough. She says yes and leaves to get R. (It's about time!) Next nurse comes in and asks a few more questions. Thankfully she's not trying to hack up a lung and seems a little bit nicer. All in all we were there for probably less than an hour. Of course as soon as I laid down and got hooked up "George" quit moving completely. Thanks a lot! Everything was fine and we were glad to go just for the peace of mind, but I didn't like my first experience in labor and delivery.

I was totally disturbed by the fact that it seemed the first nurse should be home in bed nursing her cough rather than at the hospital nursing me. I didn't like that R had to wait outside. I think what bothered me the most is that I knew that if I insisted he come with me that they would let him come, but I felt like everything was so out of my control and I was just being moved along with no time to think. Then I didn't appreciate that the nurse kept telling me that movement wasn't cause for concern, it was when there was a lack of movement. Hello!?!? I know that! But I also know what my baby is like and he has NEVER moved like that before and darn it, the doctor recommeneded that I come in to be monitored. Argh!!

Our doctor calls up to the nurse's station after reading the monitor and says that everything looks good and I'm free to go. Sounds good. I get back into my normal clothes feeling relieved that little man is okay and relieved to be leaving. Back home we go; it's now after midnight and that great positive feeling from the day has evaporated and mostly I just feel even more freaked out about going in for the real thing. R keeps reassuring me that this time was different because it wasn't the real thing and we didn't have our birth plan in hand to present to them 'cause I knew I wasn't in labor. Alas. I finally fell asleep sometime after 1am, only to be awakened at 2am by a crash in the kitchen. R gets up to investigate with baseball bat in hand. I lay there groggy, holding my breath until he comes back to say everything is okay...but my pot rack came right out of the wall and all the pots and pans fell. Sigh. Thankfully nothing got broken in the fallout.

Drama, drama, drama. I'm glad it's a new day and I'm gonna try to not think about the whole thing anymore. Our little boy is okay; we're okay. I am, however, gonna ask my doctor about the coughing nurse!! That's just rediculous!!!

39 Weeks

To be completely honest I was hoping our little man would be here by now, but here we are at 39 weeks and our due date is this Thursday!!! The imminence of his coming is both incredibly exciting and incredibly frightening! If only there wasn't that thing called LABOR between here and there!!! But I'm trying to keep a positive perspective and hoping, hoping, hoping that I will follow in my Mom's steps and have a quick and easy delivery! After all, I was nice to my Mom so that should count for something, right?!?!

Meanwhile, I'm totally running out of things to clean and finish before his arrival. A couple days ago I finished reading "Villette" by Charlotte Bronte (it was good, but not as good as Jane Eyre). I've been keeping up with the laundry so that's not hanging over me when he's born. I've prepared and frozen probably around 8 meals. The office is clean, the kitchen is clean, the nursery is complete including new crib up and ready, our bags have been packed for awhile now. And I'm getting antsy and bored!!!! I'd like to get out more and shop and the like, but with all the comments I get when I go out I have to be feeling REALLY up emotionally to brave hearing someone else make a negative comment about the size of my belly. So I'm kinda hiding out in the house lately. PLEASE COME SOON LITTLE BOY!!!!!!

By the way, I looked up some information in one of the books I've read about labor and delivery and the fact that the little man is at a +1 station is quite positive. The stations or positions coming down into the birth canal start at -4, which is floating. Zero is fully engaged in the mother's pelvis and +4 is basically when the baby's head crowns. So, he has moved past just being fully engaged and is on his way positively (ha, ha). Soon I will look back on all of this and wonder that he's been here a week...a month...a year already! Soon this pregnancy will end and I will hold my little boy in my ARMS!! Soon!

Ready to Decorate!

R finished painting the office over the weekend and I think it turned out so great!! This is what it looked like before. You can't tell in the pics but the paint had come off in quite a few places and it just looked pretty rough. And there's Chewie! He was the inspiration for the new color!!

This is the new look! I've been wanting to do something in chocolate brown 'cause I think it's such a warm color!!! We're planning on doing this color in our kitchen next year, so R decided to continue the color theme in the office since it's right off the kitchen.

Again, this is the old color.

It's hard to really tell what color the brown is. I probably should have taken the pics with the blinds closed. But you get the general idea from these shots!! I think it turned out fabulous and can't wait to help R with the decorating!!!

Single Digits!!!!

It's amazing to me that our due date is only one week away!!! I woke up yesterday thinking "today's the day" and by dinner time last night I thought that might actually be the case! I started getting cramps at lunch time yesterday and by dinner it felt like I was getting what I assumed were contractions, though there didn't seem to be a pattern to it. I kept having them up until about 9:30 and then each time I woke up in the night I felt crampy still. But, no baby yet!

We had our doctor appointment this morning and I'm now effaced 90%!! That must have been what was going on yesterday!!! No dilation, but little man has moved down in +1 position! Our doctor says the more I'm effaced and the more he moves down the quicker things should progress during labor. So even though I'm not dilated, my body is definitely getting ready! I'm soooooooooooooooooo excited to meet our little boy!!!!!

In a previous post I mentioned that our crib got recalled. It was a little frustrating to have to take it apart, return it and then go about finding a new one. But I think it ended up being a blessing in disguise. The old crib was fine and seemed to be pretty sturdy. But the new crib is so much more solid and I think it will last a lot better then the first crib. And I just think it looks nicer!!

Off with the old.....


On with the new!

Sleep

For the last 3 nights sleep has been anything but peaceful and fulfilling. I would think the last month of pregnancy that I'd sleep like a baby since I tire out so easily and need so much sleep to function. But no, aside from getting up 2 or 3 times a night to go to the bathroom, I've been having these weird, wake-like dreams that make me wonder if I'm getting any sleep at all. And, on top of all that, my body lets me know I need to turn over like every hour 'cause I'm uncomfortable in one position for too long.

I read on some pregnancy website that some people think the difficulty sleeping in the last stage of pregnancy is to prepare for the interrupted sleep when the baby comes. This may be true, but it's doesn't seem quite fair. I'd like to store up sleep now for later! Smile. Oh well. I don't really feel too tired during the day, so I must be getting enough sleep and this can't go on forever! I mean, one of these days (maybe today?!?!?) I will actually give birth to this sweet baby and this pregnancy will be OVER! It is a proven fact that pregnancy does indeed come to an end! Smile. Yesterday I was really doubting that...didn't make for a very good day! But between my sweet husband, my sweet friend Bri, and my sweet Mom I was much encouraged! Thanks guys!

My Favorite Shots from our 38 Week Photo Shoot

38 weeks and still counting

Today marks 38 weeks of pregnancy. R and I have totally been marvelling at the fact that our sweet little boy is coming SOON!! I just remarked that next Saturday at this time we could be sitting at home WITH our son! Wow! It's real but it's so not real all the same!

This morning R and I had a photo shoot with one of R's co-workers. She kindly offered to take our pics together with the baby belly! I can't wait to see how they turned out! I'm glad we got the chance to do that together!! I'll be sure to post pics when we get them...should be next week sometime.

Hopefully today is the last day R will have to work on the office. The only thing left to paint is the white trim! Yippy!! I can't wait to see it completely done! R has worked so hard this week!!

Dumb luck...our crib got recalled! What are the odds that would happen two weeks before our due date?!?! We're thankful to have a pack and play so at least our little guy will have a place to sleep until we can get his bed replaced and set up again. I'm kinda bummed 'cause the crib and the changing table are in the same set so they match...and I don't know if we'll find something else to match. Oh well, "George" sure won't care! It's just mommy that likes everything to be just so.

This post is turning out to be incredibly random!! I don't know if I was nesting or not, but yesterday I super cleaned the living room, including mopping the wood floors! I just couldn't bear the thought of coming home from the hospital to look at the same dust that has already been driving me nuts!! Wood floors are beautiful, but they aren't as forgiving as carpet!

A Little is Better Than None

We had our OB appointment today. I really look forward to those now 'cause I really want to know if there's any progress being made, especially now that I've been feeling SO uncomfortable! Our doctor confirmed that he has "definitely dropped"! Glad to have that confirmation! That would explain why I have so much pressure in my pelvis!! She said my cervix is really soft and that I'm dilated to almost 1cm. I have to admit I was hoping for a little bit more dilation than that, but a little progress is better than no progress!!! At least all those Braxton Hicks contractions are doing SOMETHING! I woke up in the wee hours last night and had cramps for like 45 minutes or more. I sort of wondered if something was getting started, but then they got less intense and I was able to go back to sleep and woke up this morning without cramping. Oh well. I'm still hoping to go early, but our doctor expects to see me again next week for our next appointment. We shall see!

A Little is Better Than None

We had our OB appointment today. I really look forward to those now 'cause I really want to know if there's any progress being made, especially now that I've been feeling SO uncomfortable! Our doctor confirmed that he has "definitely dropped"! Glad to have that confirmation! That would explain why I have so much pressure in my pelvis!! She said my cervix is really soft and that I'm dilated to almost 1cm. I have to admit I was hoping for a little bit more dilation than that, but a little progress is better than no progress!!! At least all those Braxton Hicks contractions are doing SOMETHING! I woke up in the wee hours last night and had cramps for like 45 minutes or more. I sort of wondered if something was getting started, but then they got less intense and I was able to go back to sleep and woke up this morning without cramping. Oh well. I'm still hoping to go early, but our doctor expects to see me again next week for our next appointment. We shall see!

God is so Faithful

I was just telling R last night that I feel a little lonely and it seems like everyone is so busy right now with their own lives that there just isn't time to hang out. Today we went to the chiropractor, which felt really great, by the way. This sweet woman in the waiting room asked me about my due date and then just enthusiastically expressed how exciting it is to have children and didn't say anything negative about my size or not getting any sleep after he's born or anything like that! She was still in the waiting room when we finished and R, being the fabulous extrovert that he is, suggested that she and I should get together for coffee tonight!

We did! We just spent a couple hours talking over starbucks. Come to find out, she and her husband have only lived here since November and are still making friends! She's a Christian and reminds me so much of a good friend from college; very bubbly and enthusiastic and a red-head. Once again God showed His faithfulness to me and how He will provide for all my needs!!! Thank you, Jesus!

Some thoughts on marriage.......

I'm not exactly sure why I started thinking about this, but as I was making R breakfast this morning, my mind went off on its own little tangent. It's not every morning that I make breakfast for my sweet love, but he was up painting in the office until 6am this morning so I wanted to bless him and help him in getting out the door to go to work (thankfully he did take the morning off to get some sleep). As I was preparing his coffee I was thinking about the fact that I knew he would appreciate my efforts and how much his appreciation inspires me to do things for him that he will appreciate.

That got me thinking about the patterns we choose in relationships and particularly in marriage. I feel so blessed to be married to R and thankful for the way he treats me and talks to me and how he shows his love for me. I don't know how many times people have given the "just you wait until" speal about how once we've been married 2 years.....6 years......had children......etc we won't be so nice to each other anymore. But as far as I'm concerned, the reason our marriage looks the way it does is because of the choices we've made from the beginning in how we treat each other and speak to each other...in our pattern of conduct toward each other.

I made the choice from the start not "to go there". Not to say those negative, critical things that once said is easier to say the next time and the next time. I'm definitely not perfect and I'm not trying to imply that our marriage is perfect and that we always treat each other the way we should. I guess I'm just trying to say that marriage is what we make it and we do have a choice how we will personally treat our spouse. And just like I love to do things that R appreciates because he appreciates them, I think the same is true for what we say and how we treat each other in other ways as well. We establish a pattern of conduct that determines what our marriage looks like. And how I treat R has an effect on how he will treat me in return and vice versa. So those are my thoughts on this fine Monday afternoon. I think the bottom line is "do unto others as you want them to do unto you".

Full Term

At 37 weeks, our little boy is full term today! He can safely come anytime and I would happily welcome him ANYTIME! Smile. I've been feeling pretty good, but last night I started feeling really uncomfortable and just a lot of pressure. I slept last night, but each time I woke up to turn over or go to the bathroom it was like my whole body was screaming its angst at me! I'm still feeling quite a bit of pressure today and can't sit still for very long. I'm really hoping this means he's coming soon...and if he's not that this isn't how I'm going to feel for the remainder of my time pregnant!!!

And please bear with me as I take this opportunity to vent about what has to be the worst part about being pregnant. CAN'T PEOPLE JUST LEARN TO KEEP THEIR MOUTH SHUT IF THEY CAN'T SAY SOMETHING NICE AND POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Argh! "Oh my gosh, you're really big". " You look like you're about ready to pop". "Your baby is gonna be really big". "You're huge". And it goes on and on and on!! And what's so frustrating is that most of these comments come from complete strangers! What on earth gives them the right to comment about my anatomy?!?!? I feel the need to educate these tactless people about what's appropriate to say, but I realize that if I respond the way I'd like to, they probably would just think I'm a B with and itch and not have a clue why I'm upset. But seriously, just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I appreciate being told I'm HUGE. What woman likes to hear that under any circumstances? As for telling me my baby is gonna be so big, even if that were true (which it's not) hearing it over and over again would likely only produce anxiety about the fact that what goes in must come out!! Hello?!?!? Gosh!!! The old addage is true, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"!!!!!!! There. Thank you! I just needed to get that off my chest!! Smile.

R and a few fabulous friends are painting the office today! We decided that since we hadn't decorated or set things up yet that it would make more sense to paint it now rather than having to move everything out of there in order to paint. Since I can't paint because of the fumes, I rounded up a crew so R wouldn't have to go it alone. It's going really fast!! I can't wait to see the finished product and post pics for ya'll to see! And I'm super excited for R to have a man space that he can enjoy and that's fixed up the way he wants it! He's so creative that it's gonna be super cool!!!

Lazyboy!

My sweet parents got us a lazyboy chair for the nursery and R and a friend picked it up and brought it to its new home tonight! It's SO comfy and I can't wait to nurse our sweet, little boy in its cushiony folds!

We had our doctor appointment today and this time there's no new progress to report. I'm not dilated yet, but there are still 3 more weeks until the actual due date so that's okay. R and I are convinced that he has dropped some more. I'm definitely feeling the pressure and I have to go to the bathroom all the time now!

Even though I know his arrival is just around the corner, I still can't imagine what it will feel like to hold our son in my arms for the first time and to look into his little face!! And what will he look like?!?!? I can't wait to find out!!!

9 months pregnant

Contrary to what we were always told growing up, pregnancy is actually 10 months, not 9. So here I am at 9 months pregnant...with four more weeks until my due date! But it still feels really good to reach that big milestone! And, he is considered full-term at 37 weeks so maybe he'll come early!!! Maybe...but I'm not gonna hold my breath! Smile.

Thursday we went to the doctor and everything is looking good and right on schedule. Little man is measuring right at 36 cm which is exactly where he's supposed to be at 36 weeks. And like a good little boy he's still in head down position! Good job, son!! I've gone from being 50% effaced to 80%! Yippy!!! My doctor said the more the cervix thins out the faster I will dilate when I start dilating!! Sounds good to me! I'm totally okay with a fast labor!! On Friday I had back cramps for about an hour or so and it seems to R. and I that our baby has dropped, but we can't say for certain on that! Maybe next week's appointment will shed some light on this!!

I've become completely obsessed with labor and delivery. Last week I was reading all about breastfeeding, this week all about delivery. Everything I read is basically the same thing said a different way, but there are little tidbits from different writers that offer pain management and comfort techniques that may come in handy when the time comes! R. has been reading about comfort techniques as well since he's gonna be my labor coach. I'm so glad that he wants to help me as much as he can and be a part of the whole process!!

This week I started freezing some meals so R. can just thaw it out and dinner will be ready after "George" comes! I don't know if I've started nesting, but I've certainly taken a new interest in baking! A couple days ago I made Orange/Coconut bread (freezing one loaf!) and now I'm ready to make Chocolate Chip/Banana Bread and thinking about Pumpkin Muffins. What's come over me!!! Smile.

At the Risk of Sounding Preachy.....

Because this is a public forum, I won't divulge the incident that took place to spark my words, but let's just say it's possible this could be somewhat of a rant. I need to get some thoughts out about what I'd like to say to the individuals involved.

First of all, why is it that so often Christians get so hung up on a belief or principle that they try to bulldog others into adopting their way of thinking at the expense of love and respect and compassion? Why is it that so often as Christians we pick and choose those issues we must proclaim, all the while neglecting the other instructions of Scripture to conduct ourselves in humility and kindness and gentleness?

I hate to bring it up, but this is especially true in the political arena. We will absolutely harangue someone for his stance on a political issue, arguing to the death, only to be left with the dead and wounded that we've just attacked in the name of God and right and truth. Does this really accomplish anything other than alienation and division? Is it really so very important to convince someone else to adopt your view?

I've been reading some Scriptures this morning as I try to sort out my feelings and thoughts on this. In Philippians, after laying out some principles for how we are to live and function, Paul says in 3:15,16 > " All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." Paul didn't feel the need to hammer his point home. He realized that God is more than able to change someone's view if it needs changing.

James 3:17, 18 says > "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peace-makers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness." True wisdom doesn't blow people over in an attempt to convince others of the truth of her words. This verse outlines some of true wisdom's character traits. Peace-loving.....considerate.......full of mercy. And of those who speak with this kind of wisdom it says they are raising a harvest of righteousness. They are bearing fruit.

I used to be one of those people who was more concerned with being right or convincing someone else of my point of view, than any real care or love for that individual. I functioned like that for many years until a friend of mine showed me what it looks like to listen to another's point of view and consider ones own fallibility. I learned a lot from this friend and we were able to be friends even though we disagreed about almost everything. Still we had a mutual care and respect for each other. Does that mean that I threw away my own belief system? No. In fact, because I was open to being wrong and open to hear what someone else had to say, I found that my own beliefs were strengthened.

Anyone can argue their point and convince someone to come over to their way of thinking. One only needs to turn on the TV to hear one side arguing against the other and throwing their insults and drawing the lines of division deeper and deeper.

I believe as Christians we're to recognize that there's so much more to it than that. We're called to rise above the pettiness and belittling prevalent in controversies and quarrels. First of all, because God is up to the challenge of someone's differing view and opinion. But more importantly, we're called to demonstrate God's love in our words and our actions...in truth. This in no way means we compromise that truth, but we recognize that God seeks to change people's hearts. When someone's heart is changed, their mind will follow. But you can change someone's mind and unless that change goes deeper, they will likely change their mind again when another argument presents itself that makes more sense to them or is argued more convincingly.

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life." Phil. 2:14-16a