Three Weeks

Our little man is 3 weeks old today. It's all been such a blur since he arrived. Driving around town it feels like I haven't seen the place in a long time...everything looks different somehow! Things are getting easier, but of course we still have moments...some days more than others when I wonder how on earth I can keep going and if I'll ever catch up on such things as sleep!! Looking into his little face, though, is so amazing! He's beautiful! And those big eyes are so inquisitive and those little lips so kissable!! I love our little Isaac!! Here are some of my favorite pics from the week.

Baby Clothes

Prior to Isaac's arrival I had all the baby clothes organized neatly into sizes; newborn, 0 - 3 months, 3 - 6 months, etc. As we've started using the clothes, however, it has come to our attention that baby clothes do not have a consistent size chart. Isaac is wearing some newborn clothes, some 0 - 3 month clothes, and some onesies that say they're for 6 - 9 month olds...yeah right!! How on earth does one keep it all straight? I don't want to miss an outfit, thinking we have a few months before it will fit!! I think we should implement a sizing standard!!! So you moms out there...how do you keep your baby clothes straight?????

Two Weeks

Our little Isaacson turned 2 weeks on Thursday! It's hard to believe that much time has passed...and then again it seems like Isaac has been with us for longer...and that it's been longer than that since I knew what it was like to sleep for more than a few hours at a time!! Overall life is starting to take on a semblance of "normal". I don't know how I'll ever manage to get anything done besides feeding, but I imagine that will come in time.

R has been my hero! I'm so thankful he was able to take time off to take care of me and bond with our little boy!! We still have one more week before he has to go back to work...I might cry when he does! There's something about watching the man I love hold our baby that's unlike anything else in the world. It's so beautiful!! And R is such a great Daddy!! And the best husband ever!!

The Fog is Clearing

Everyone has said that the first week is the hardest and it truly does get easier...and we're finding that to be pretty accurate! Last week I cried more than I've cried my whole life, I think!! So tired, so emotional, dealing with physical ailments from childbirth to nursing. But this week it feels like the fog is starting to lift and today I feel almost normal!!

We actually got out for a couple hours today. We went to early voting and got that taken care of. I was kinda nervous that Isaac would have a melt-down in the voting booth and annoy everybody, but thankfully he slept through the experience!! Then we picked up lunch and ate at the park. It felt so awesome to get out of the house and see that life still goes on!!! And it was the most beautiful day! Texas in the Fall is fabulous!!

I can't make a post without saying how blessed I am by my sweet husband!! R has been incredible! He has totally changed more diapers than I have. He helps soothe Isaac to sleep. At the moment he's in the nursery putting Isaac down and singing worship songs to him. So precious. Watching R love our little boy and care for him has caused me to love him even more! And having this time together while R is on paternity leave is a little bit like another honeymoon...well, it is now that last week is over! Smile. I sure do love my boys!

Here are a few pictures from our time at the park.

Birth Story

I've been trying to get a chance to blog about Isaac's birth all week. My need to process the experience is so tangible it's almost like the physical sensations of thirst or hunger. For the most part through my pregnancy I was able to think of childbirth as a positive, beautiful thing and not let myself give way to panic and terror when its inevitability crossed my mind. R and I took a 5 week childbirth class, talked with our friends who have recently given birth, asked questions of our doctor, and read lots of material on the subject.

I decided I wanted to go natural for a number of reasons. Less risk of C-section, ability to move around during and after labor, testimony of friends who had gone natural and described it as an amazing experience. Let me just say that my perspective has changed since going through labor and delivery personally! I'm realizing more and more that what works for others doesn't necessarily work for us, whether that's in our marriage, church, childbirth, and now parenting.

But on to the story......

After 2 or 3 "maybe this is it" experiences, I was excited on Tuesday the 7th when I realized I was losing my mucous plug. I knew this didn't mean labor was imminent, but it felt like a good sign. I woke up Wednesday, the morning of the 8th, feeling kinda crampy and hoping that meant something, but not trying to get my hopes up too high since I'd felt that before. (disclaimer...for some of you there may be too much information...just so you know) I went to the bathroom and discovered that I had bloody show. Now this was exciting because I'd read that with bloody show labor usually starts within 24 to 48 hours, giving us enough time to go into labor before Friday's scheduled induction!

Wednesday was pretty normal and nothing really seemed to be happening until about 2pm when I started having contractions about 6 minutes apart. I tried to lay down and rest but they were uncomfortable enough that I couldn't sleep. At 4pm I called R at work and he said he'd be home within the next hour. I hung up with him and then had a contraction that was much stronger than anything previously. I immediately called him back and asked him to come now!! I knew I didn't want to be by myself anymore!

R came home and we ate dinner, went for a walk, watched some TV, I took a warm bath, and I sat on my birth ball. Meanwhile, the contractions were still coming and getting more painful and more intense. At midnight, after 10 hours of contractions, and with the contractions coming about 4 minutes apart, we decided to head to the hospital. We got there and got settled into the labor and delivery room and the nurse checked me to see my progress. I wasn't dilated at all!! Up to this point I was doing really well remaining positive, but when I learned I'd been having painful contractions for 10 hours with no progress all I could do was cry!!

They put me on the fetal monitor for awhile to make sure Isaac was doing okay and then I was released to walk the halls and move around. We headed to the nursery...I figured I could use some inspiration. Walking didn't really seem to help and the contractions were getting harder and harder to deal with. We went back to the room and watched an episode of the first season of Lost, trying to keep me distracted.

R was absolutely AMAZING through all of labor and delivery. He had a shirt made special for the occasion that said "birth coach" across the front. He affirmed me with every single contraction, pushed on my back to help alleviate the pain of back labor, fed me ice chips to keep me hydrated, helped me change positions, let me lean against him during the particularly severe contractions. And he managed to remain positive the entire time!!!! I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!!!

Around 4am on Thursday, the 9th, the nurse checked me again and I was dilated to a 7!! 7 centimeters in 4 hours! No wonder the contractions were so intense!! I decided I needed some relief from the pain, so I requested demerol. I had heard that while demerol wouldn't eliminate the pain it would help to take the edge off. As it turns out, demerol did NOTHING for the pain, but it did relax me in between contractions and I got a little rest.

Around 7:30am our doctor stopped by to check my progress and see how I was doing. I had dilated to an 8 and was really starting to struggle with pain, crying a lot, trying to breathe through the contractions, but finding myself hyperventilating through some of them and screaming through others.

Our doctor came by again about 9:30am and I was still only dilated to an 8 and our doctor was a little concerned that I hadn't made any more progress. She inserted an internal monitor to better register the intensity of my contractions and at the same time, she broke my water. My contractions were coming one on top of the other without a break and peaking for 2 minutes. At this point I couldn't take it anymore and was ready to just have a c-section and get it over with! Our doctor asked me if I was afraid to get an epidural. I had to admit that I was...though at that point fearing the pain of the needle seemed rediculous compared to what I was experiencing! I decided to get an epidural and they put me at the top of the list to receive it.

At 10:30am, after 20 hours of labor, I got an epidural and hope that I was going to make it after all! Once the epidural took affect they started me on pitocin to speed things up. With the pain relief I was able to sleep for a couple hours. Our doctor came back again and I had dilated to a 9 & 1/2. Our doctor told us that if I hadn't completely dilated in the next hour that we might have to consider a c-section.

I slept for another hour and R had just stepped out for a moment when Dr. came back to check on me at 2:30pm. After checking my progress she announced that it was time to push!! She assured me she wouldn't let the baby be born without R being there! I pushed through two contractions before R got back. R was so surprised that it was time!! He stepped right in and cheered me on and told me how amazing I was with every push!!

Pushing was the part of the labor experience that I was most scared of, but with the epidural I couldn't feel any pain and pushing ended up being amazing!!! I pushed for an hour and a half and then with one push I felt Isaac's head come out and the next push brought the rest of him. It was so amazing to push our little boy into the world!! They put him on a blanket onto my chest and he was so beautiful!!!! Isaac was born at 3:53pm on 10.09.08 after 26 hours of labor! He was 8 pounds, 1 ounce and 20 inches long.

At this point, R remarked that I looked really pale and I felt like I was going to faint. They lowered the bed so I was lying down flat and took my blood pressure. My blood pressure was super low...I think someone said 99 over something, but I'm not for sure on that. They thought it might be from the epidural...apparently that type of reaction is pretty common with redheads...go figure. I slept for awhile and they tried sitting me up later on in the evening only to have the same faintness come over me again. I think someone from the lab came at some point to check my blood count and they discovered that I was running on "half a tank", to use our doctor's words.

They kept me over in labor and delivery that night and gave me two units of blood. I couldn't believe the difference it made!! I felt so much better! And by morning I was able to sit up without feeling like I was going to pass out. They then moved us over to the post partum area where we stayed another night and were released to come home on Saturday.

I find that even though everything turned out in the end and it's all over and Isaac is here and healthy, that I'm still struggling with how horrible the experience was. I knew it would be difficult, but I had the expectation that it would still be this amazing experience. Instead I find myself terrified at the thought of ever going through that again. It was awful...I've never known pain like that before! I felt so helpless and afraid. It helps just getting my thoughts out, but I think it might take a long time to process through everything and be able to let it go.

Rumors of war

Captain’s log, stardate: 90210. Dad's entry - I’ve secured this channel to broadcast what could be my last transmission. It’s been four days now since we left civilization. Though the surge has succeeded in ways that nobody anticipated, the crew is weary as we settle in on the long haul. We’re hungry. Tired. Fatigue setting in. I’ve set up a perimeter around the house to intercept incoming sound waves before they hit base camp. The first watch of the night was uneventful. Still, I take no solace in the calm, knowing that a storm brews on the horizon. One of ours was hit pretty hard last week. Took two units of blood to set everything right again. Mollie is a dedicated soldier; she went natural for half of the journey. For those who aren’t parents yet (we call them civilians), saying that a woman “went natural” is like a scientist saying that a star went supernova. Nonetheless, somehow, we survived the blast - not a scratch on us - but I can tell, nothing will be the same again. The first diaper change came with unrelenting force. Who gave my baby tar to eat? Boot camp could never have prepared us for this.

Here At Last!!!!

Our sweet son Isaac is here at last!!! Life has been a complete blur since we went into the hospital Wednesday night at midnight! Labor was a long 26 hours and the little man arrived at 3:53pm on Thursday, October 9th! 10.09.08 He picked a cool birthdate! Isaac weighted 8 pounds, 1 ounce and was 20 inches long. Everyone keeps saying he's a big baby, but I guess that's all relative. He seems so little to me!

We came home on Saturday and have just been adjusting to our new life ever since. It seems like all I do right now is feed and catch naps in between feedings. I'll be glad when things smooth out a bit! Today is the first time I've touched the computer since letting ya'll know we were headed to the hospital!! But hopefully things will take on a semblance of normalcy soon! Meanwhile, I had to share some pictures of our adorable little boy!!!

Time

We're heading to the hospital!

The Real Thing

Well this is definitely the real thing! I've been having consistent contractions now since 2pm and they're getting closer together and more intense. They're now coming about every 4 1/2 minutes apart. I totally have to concentrate and breathe through them, but so far it's going really well. R has been absolutely amazing! Time out.

Okay I'm back. Contraction there. To say R has been attentive is an understatement! I'm so beyond blessed to have him for my husband!!!! We're still at home and plan to stay home until they're closer to 3 minutes apart unless my water breaks before then! I'm starting to feel a little tired, but the contractions are too painful laying down so I'm not sure that dozing is much of an option at this point. Soon I'll get to hold my little boy!! Thank you, Jesus!!!!!!

Keeping my fingers crossed!

So...I'm having pretty intense contractions about every 6 minutes and have been for the last couple hours. I'm just hoping beyond hope that this is the real thing and they don't taper off like they did before. Of course, these contractions are a lot stronger than the other day so that's a good sign. I'll try to post when we're heading to the hospital!!! Keep praying!!!! I so want this little boy to come on his own without induction!!!!

Maybe Today?!?!?

Every day I tell the little man that today would be a great day for him to come. So far he hasn't agreed with me! I was pretty sure Sunday was going to be the day. I woke up at 3am with contractions coming every 4 minutes. This went on for a little over 3 hours and included a walk at 6am...but then they tapered off and that was that.

I've pretty much given up on the idea that I can do anything to get things started. I continue to walk and last night I tried the accupressure again and took a hot bath in lavender salts. The bath gave me a really good night's sleep and I'm thankful for that, but I think that's about all I'm gonna get out of it!

The fact that he's coming this week regardless of the means is both encouraging and terrifying. Pitocin looms ominously in my mind even though my doctor assures me they'll start out with a low dose that will mimic natural labor (if you've had pitocin please don't share your experience until AFTER I've had this baby!!!). Regardless I'd much rather things begin on their own...naturally!

R continues to encourage me and assure me that I can do this and that it's almost over and soon we'll hold our sweet baby in our arms. I truly don't think I could do this without him!! More than once he has been the one between me and utter discouragement!! I know the obvious fact that pregnancy can't continue indefinitely...but try and convince my emotions of that when faith feels weak and I haul this very pregnant body out of bed each morning only to return there in the same condition each night!!

But maybe he'll come today!! I'm still hopeful! I can't help but think about our son's coming in light of the coming of Christ. I should await His coming with that same sense of expectation that each day could be THE DAY! Oh to long for Jesus with the same fervency with which I long for my little boy to be born! Lord...revive my heart and my love for YOU! Draw me closer........

Almost There!

I was sure last night that things were gonna get heated up in the night and today we'd be heading to the hospital. I've been having more intense Braxton Hicks contractions since Thursday night. Last night we even timed them and discovered that there was a pattern of every 7 minutes. I'm still saying they were Braxton Hicks, though, 'cause they're not painful just uncomfortable. Alas. I'm still feeling them but they don't seem to be getting any stronger or more intense.

R and the doggies and I have been on a walk this morning and I've done another round of accupressure. There's a place on the inside of the ankle that can be pressed to start contractions or to strengthen them. It's called the Spleen 6. I think it does have an effect but not enough of an effect to actually get things going. Thankfully I slept well last night and it's the weekend so R is here with me and we can get out and enjoy each other's company. And it's a beautiful day!!!

Still hoping today could be the day things get started..... Gotta keep hoping!!!

By the way, we mentioned to our doctor about the nurse who was coughing like crazy the night we went in for monitoring. I was saddened and quite humbled to learn that she has lung cancer and is trying to keep working as long as she's able. Wow. So if you think of it...pray for Debra!

A Little More Time

I'm learning that while I can think pretty fast on my feet, I actually need some time to process things and that often includes sleeping on it. We spoke with our doctor this morning about delaying the scheduled induction a little longer. We're now set to go in a week from today if our little boy doesn't come before then. I feel better about giving him more time to come on his own and there's still the relief of having the end in sight.

I'm off for another walk! I'm determined to do what I can to bring this little guy along!!!!

40 Weeks!

Today is the big due date...and so far our little guy hasn't clued in to the fact that he needs to come!! Smile. We went to our doctor visit this morning and no new progress since last week, though I'm sure it feels like he's dropped some more!!! No dilation yet, but effaced to 90%. If little man doesn't come before, we're scheduled to go in on Monday morning to be induced. I have been so opposed to induction prior to 42 weeks, yet I can't even begin to explain the feeling of relief I felt when she said Monday! So after crying about it and freaking out and thinking and praying, I really do feel at peace about how things are playing out. And of course we're hoping and praying he will come on his own before then!!! Meanwhile, we will continue Operation Babycome with all diligence!!! Our sweet baby will be here SOON!!!!!

Operation Babycome

It's October now and so I feel it's more than safe to help little "George" along with entering the world!!! I've been walking most days, but this morning I took the doggies out for half an hour and plan to walk again with R later this evening. I've been to the chiropractor. I ate saurkraut with my lunch (gag!). And when I'm done on the computer I plan to sit on my birth ball for awhile. Operation Babycome has officially commenced!!! It's time for you to come, sweet boy!!!!