Birth Story

I've been trying to get a chance to blog about Isaac's birth all week. My need to process the experience is so tangible it's almost like the physical sensations of thirst or hunger. For the most part through my pregnancy I was able to think of childbirth as a positive, beautiful thing and not let myself give way to panic and terror when its inevitability crossed my mind. R and I took a 5 week childbirth class, talked with our friends who have recently given birth, asked questions of our doctor, and read lots of material on the subject.

I decided I wanted to go natural for a number of reasons. Less risk of C-section, ability to move around during and after labor, testimony of friends who had gone natural and described it as an amazing experience. Let me just say that my perspective has changed since going through labor and delivery personally! I'm realizing more and more that what works for others doesn't necessarily work for us, whether that's in our marriage, church, childbirth, and now parenting.

But on to the story......

After 2 or 3 "maybe this is it" experiences, I was excited on Tuesday the 7th when I realized I was losing my mucous plug. I knew this didn't mean labor was imminent, but it felt like a good sign. I woke up Wednesday, the morning of the 8th, feeling kinda crampy and hoping that meant something, but not trying to get my hopes up too high since I'd felt that before. (disclaimer...for some of you there may be too much information...just so you know) I went to the bathroom and discovered that I had bloody show. Now this was exciting because I'd read that with bloody show labor usually starts within 24 to 48 hours, giving us enough time to go into labor before Friday's scheduled induction!

Wednesday was pretty normal and nothing really seemed to be happening until about 2pm when I started having contractions about 6 minutes apart. I tried to lay down and rest but they were uncomfortable enough that I couldn't sleep. At 4pm I called R at work and he said he'd be home within the next hour. I hung up with him and then had a contraction that was much stronger than anything previously. I immediately called him back and asked him to come now!! I knew I didn't want to be by myself anymore!

R came home and we ate dinner, went for a walk, watched some TV, I took a warm bath, and I sat on my birth ball. Meanwhile, the contractions were still coming and getting more painful and more intense. At midnight, after 10 hours of contractions, and with the contractions coming about 4 minutes apart, we decided to head to the hospital. We got there and got settled into the labor and delivery room and the nurse checked me to see my progress. I wasn't dilated at all!! Up to this point I was doing really well remaining positive, but when I learned I'd been having painful contractions for 10 hours with no progress all I could do was cry!!

They put me on the fetal monitor for awhile to make sure Isaac was doing okay and then I was released to walk the halls and move around. We headed to the nursery...I figured I could use some inspiration. Walking didn't really seem to help and the contractions were getting harder and harder to deal with. We went back to the room and watched an episode of the first season of Lost, trying to keep me distracted.

R was absolutely AMAZING through all of labor and delivery. He had a shirt made special for the occasion that said "birth coach" across the front. He affirmed me with every single contraction, pushed on my back to help alleviate the pain of back labor, fed me ice chips to keep me hydrated, helped me change positions, let me lean against him during the particularly severe contractions. And he managed to remain positive the entire time!!!! I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!!!

Around 4am on Thursday, the 9th, the nurse checked me again and I was dilated to a 7!! 7 centimeters in 4 hours! No wonder the contractions were so intense!! I decided I needed some relief from the pain, so I requested demerol. I had heard that while demerol wouldn't eliminate the pain it would help to take the edge off. As it turns out, demerol did NOTHING for the pain, but it did relax me in between contractions and I got a little rest.

Around 7:30am our doctor stopped by to check my progress and see how I was doing. I had dilated to an 8 and was really starting to struggle with pain, crying a lot, trying to breathe through the contractions, but finding myself hyperventilating through some of them and screaming through others.

Our doctor came by again about 9:30am and I was still only dilated to an 8 and our doctor was a little concerned that I hadn't made any more progress. She inserted an internal monitor to better register the intensity of my contractions and at the same time, she broke my water. My contractions were coming one on top of the other without a break and peaking for 2 minutes. At this point I couldn't take it anymore and was ready to just have a c-section and get it over with! Our doctor asked me if I was afraid to get an epidural. I had to admit that I was...though at that point fearing the pain of the needle seemed rediculous compared to what I was experiencing! I decided to get an epidural and they put me at the top of the list to receive it.

At 10:30am, after 20 hours of labor, I got an epidural and hope that I was going to make it after all! Once the epidural took affect they started me on pitocin to speed things up. With the pain relief I was able to sleep for a couple hours. Our doctor came back again and I had dilated to a 9 & 1/2. Our doctor told us that if I hadn't completely dilated in the next hour that we might have to consider a c-section.

I slept for another hour and R had just stepped out for a moment when Dr. came back to check on me at 2:30pm. After checking my progress she announced that it was time to push!! She assured me she wouldn't let the baby be born without R being there! I pushed through two contractions before R got back. R was so surprised that it was time!! He stepped right in and cheered me on and told me how amazing I was with every push!!

Pushing was the part of the labor experience that I was most scared of, but with the epidural I couldn't feel any pain and pushing ended up being amazing!!! I pushed for an hour and a half and then with one push I felt Isaac's head come out and the next push brought the rest of him. It was so amazing to push our little boy into the world!! They put him on a blanket onto my chest and he was so beautiful!!!! Isaac was born at 3:53pm on 10.09.08 after 26 hours of labor! He was 8 pounds, 1 ounce and 20 inches long.

At this point, R remarked that I looked really pale and I felt like I was going to faint. They lowered the bed so I was lying down flat and took my blood pressure. My blood pressure was super low...I think someone said 99 over something, but I'm not for sure on that. They thought it might be from the epidural...apparently that type of reaction is pretty common with redheads...go figure. I slept for awhile and they tried sitting me up later on in the evening only to have the same faintness come over me again. I think someone from the lab came at some point to check my blood count and they discovered that I was running on "half a tank", to use our doctor's words.

They kept me over in labor and delivery that night and gave me two units of blood. I couldn't believe the difference it made!! I felt so much better! And by morning I was able to sit up without feeling like I was going to pass out. They then moved us over to the post partum area where we stayed another night and were released to come home on Saturday.

I find that even though everything turned out in the end and it's all over and Isaac is here and healthy, that I'm still struggling with how horrible the experience was. I knew it would be difficult, but I had the expectation that it would still be this amazing experience. Instead I find myself terrified at the thought of ever going through that again. It was awful...I've never known pain like that before! I felt so helpless and afraid. It helps just getting my thoughts out, but I think it might take a long time to process through everything and be able to let it go.