Urgent Prayer Request

Please pray for little Hudson Taylor. He's been battling cancer over the past few months and has taken a bad turn. He's been transferred to ICU with a blood infection and his liver has shut down. Please pray for him as well as his family!!

A Bit Sentimental Lately

I imagine it’s probably because of the holidays just around the corner and all the memories associated with them, but I’ve been feeling sentimental the last few days. Memories of times with friends and thoughts of people I haven’t seen in a long time have come to mind frequently of late…..my freshman RA……my girls who stood up with us at our wedding just over a year ago……my long-time friend traveling the globe this Christmas…….my spunky, red-haired music buddy…….former co-workers who became true friends…….and so many more! I’m richly blessed!

To all of my dear friends; know that I’m thinking of you and lifting you up in prayer! I hope you have a wonderful holiday with those you love! You are missed and greatly appreciated! I’m glad to have you in my life, even from a distance.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas from our house to yours!!

May the presence of Christ enrich your hearts this holiday!!!

With much love!

R & M

Rocking the Boat

We were in Louisiana over the weekend visiting R’s family. On Sunday all of us went out for breakfast. R, his little brother, and I rode in our car. When we were getting out of the vehicle at the restaurant, we got a stare down from an older, white woman who was preparing to leave. Any of you who have ever seen the movie ‘Save the Last Dance’ will the recall the classic scene on the train when an older, white passenger is staring at actors Sean Patrick Thomas (African-American) and Julia Stiles (Caucasian) who are traveling together on a date to the ballet. Once Stiles realizes they’re being observed she turns it on and starts necking with Thomas. I didn’t quite go for that, but when the woman continued to stare at us, I smiled and waved at her. Needless to say she looked away and drove off. It made me laugh, but at the same time it really saddened me. When we went into the restaurant, the host found it necessary to ask if I was with the group, even though I was the first to follow him when he said our table was ready. Thankfully R and I haven’t experienced any outright hostility because of our interracial marriage, but prejudice isn’t dead by any means.

In his book “Searching for God Knows What” Donald Miller says our culture is built upon a life-boat mentality. We’re always comparing ourselves with each other and looking for those differences that set us apart from others. We try to make sure that if anyone is going to get thrown off the lifeboat it won’t be us. We can’t seem to understand that God isn’t looking for a reason to love us; that He loves us no matter what. Prejudice and racism have been around a long time and I’m sure will always be around in some form or another. We all struggle with it at some level. I think maybe the only way we’ll ever be free of it is if we come to know and understand God’s love in all of its perfection and beauty.

“Jesus loves the little children. All the children of the world; red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world”………

Baking Memories

R. and I indulged in a little Christmas baking on Saturday. It was the first time we’ve baked together and the first time I’ve made Christmas cookies without my Mom or my Grandma present. In spite of this, our little adventure went surprisingly smooth and the cookies were mmmmmmmmmmmmm good. Here are some fun pics. We even made portrait cookies!!!! Isn’t Christmas wonderful?!?!

Arteest at Work

Kiss the Cook

A glimmer of hope...educationally speaking.

Today I received my acceptance letter to Baylor University!!!! Much is still unresolved as far as what music degree I will major in, or if I’ll even be accepted into the music program, however it’s a big step in the right direction! I don’t know yet what credits will transfer, but after reviewing my Prairie transcripts again, they have decided to accept transferred credits! Yay!

My audition for the music department is set for March. Yikes! This voice of mine is pretty rusty after two years out of the practice room. But I have a couple months to hone my skills. All this to say, nothing is certain at this point, but progress is being made!! Phew!

"Pour out your hearts to Him."

I wrestle with consistency in my walk with the Lord. I have moments when His presence is almost tangible and all I want is more of Him. But more often my quiet time is filled with distractions and mind-wanderings. Then there are the days when I neglect to spend time with Him altogether. My inconsistency brings with it a measure of guilt and I find myself feeling unworthy to spend time with Him at all.

I recall the graceless line of a song written by a passionate, well-meaning Christian. "If you can't come to Me(God) every day, then don't bother coming at all." Once upon a time I thought this sentiment was really how the Lord felt about us...and I guess considering the guilt I feel when I neglect to spend time with Him, I must still think this is how He feels.

Should I be frustrated that I can't seem to get a handle on how I order my time and my priorities, pushing God to the margins and even neglecting Him? Certainly; there's no question about that. However I am questioning how God reacts. (As I write this I find I can't quite put into words all that's swarming around in my head.) I wonder if I recoil from His presence with guilt because I expect Him to respond in the ungracious way I respond? I struggle sometimes to believe that it's not something personal when friends don't have time for me and my knee-jerk reaction is "fine, well I don't need them anyway" and I harden myself toward them and the potential to be hurt by them because they "won't" take time for me.

Perhaps as with most things for me, it's a matter of trust. This morning I read this verse from Psalm 62, "Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge". By no means have I arrived at any conclusion for all of this, but foundationally I need to trust Him and trust that He is open and receptive when I pour out my heart to Him. He is a safe place, a refuge, and because of Jesus the throne we approach is one of grace and so we're told to approach with confidence (Hebrews 4:16). If I carry around this burden of guilt for not coming to Him, it will only hinder me from coming.

Christmas in 18 days!!!

Christmas is my favorite time of year with all the music and the lights and the time with family and friends. Our house is looking all festive, inside and out. Even though we rent, we have such great neighbors that we were able to decorate outside as well. R. and our neighbor-friend took care of the “exterior illumination” as they called it. And thankfully, neither of them fell off the roof…I admit to being a little nervous about that!!!

Though Christmas is exciting, it doesn’t hold the same level of anticipation as it did when I was a child. Perhaps as adults we know too much and expect too little. I don’t know. My Christmas prayer is that we would become that child again and remember the delight of the season, and most importantly that we will keep before us the REASON we celebrate. Jesus became a child and was born into a harsh reality for sooooooo much more than music and lights and festivities and gifts. He came to bring us hope and a future. He came to save us from our sins. Let us hold this truth dear to our hearts and know once again the innocent delight of a child.

Present State of Being

I’ve been thinking about the state of being of so many of our friends and family, as well as our own situation at present. This state of waiting and wondering; knocking on doors unanswered; desirous to move forward and yet the way seems to be blocked and barred; a hint of possibility with no apparent outcome. It strikes me as strange that so many of us seem to be in this same state and it makes me wonder if there’s more to it than meets the eye. Could it be a byproduct of the spiritual state in this day and time? I think of the story in the book of Daniel where the angel tells him that the answer was sent as soon as Daniel prayed, and yet its arrival was hindered by a battle waged in the spiritual realm. Perhaps this is the case for us as well. The answer is on its way, but is delayed by the principalities and powers with which we wrestle.

If this is so, I wonder about the significance of our requests and why the answer would be a threat to the enemy? Is the delay a means of discouragement to blind us from what God is doing and will do? Does God have mighty plans for us that Satan shudders to see fulfilled? Or maybe it is meant as a distraction to keep us agitated and unfocused in the present time; unawares and not pressed in to the presence of the Lord.

In my heart there is a battle cry that calls us to press on and not give up; to take hold of all God has planned for us and the purpose He holds for each one of us. Let’s not become bogged down and succumb to discouragement as we wait and hope and look for that purpose and plan to be realized. God is faithful! As I write this, I’m aware that this is just what I needed to hear. I’ve allowed the waiting and the unknown to distract me from my relationship with Jesus. I’ve let all the thoughts of events outside my control to crowd out thoughts of the Lord and His kingdom. I don’t want to do this any longer! Lord, please help me to walk with You, through whatever you take me, wherever You lead, even if that means continued waiting. Help me to trust You…….

From one man He made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us. 'For in Him we live and move and have our being.' Acts 17:26-28

365 days and nights

365 days and nights together. Yesterday we celebrated a year of marriage. It's been wonderful!!! I couldn't be more thankful for my sweet husband and the wonderful, thoughful man of God he is! All the waiting and praying and tears wondering when God would bring that special man into my life were worth it. I couldn't be happier with my love!

We spent a lazy day. Went out for breakfast, put up the Christmas tree, watched a movie. R made reservations for us for dinner. He reserved this great little nook at a local Italian place and he decorated with candles. We had our own private dining with plenty of great food and service. Yay! Fun times!!!!

Thanksgiving Feast

We celebrated Thanksgiving this year with R's family. Mom C and R's sisters prepared the feast. And feast we did! The food was great! Think Texas meets Louisiana! Seafood galore! Yum! We had a wonderful time with the family. It was a good chance for me to get to know everyone better. Needless to say, we have much to be thankful for!

First Married Thanksgiving

Thank the Lord

Dad C

Astride the Golden Elephant

Our nephews

Fully Educated

In the face of time’s passage, I often feel behind in the completion of my degree. I have no regrets for how I have spent the years since high school graduation. I’ve learned a lot and met some wonderful people. There’s just the pressure to be fully educated, not to mention the glass ceiling I’ve knocked my head against more than once!

This morning I heard a brief story about a Kansas college student. It certainly makes me feel better!! Maybe it’s not so important how old I am when I finally have my degree in hand……….

Morning Edition, November 21, 2006 · Kansas college student Nola Ochs, like many of her classmates, will likely do some studying over Thanksgiving break. But unlike them, Ochs can remember the events taught in her history class. She turns 95 tomorrow. Ochs remembers World War I, the formation of the Soviet Union and the fall of the Berlin Wall. Ochs has one semester to go before she graduates. That would make her the world's oldest college graduate.

"All Rise!"

Monday morning found us in Austin, Texas where R., along with 2,500 other newly licensed lawyers, was sworn in by the Chief Justice of the Texas Supreme Court. It was fun to witness the formality of the court, including the use of Latin to call the court to order. Those who addressed the inductees stressed the responsibility upon each new lawyer and the need for them to serve with integrity. I was proud to observe from the audience and know that my husband was among those making his pledge.

On Edge

I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t admit that I’m on edge and a little anxious wondering what’s going to happen with R’s job and where we’ll be living if we have to move. This not knowing is unnerving. And it’s not for lack of faith. I KNOW that the Lord has a place for us that He has already determined. It’s simply that I want to know! When will R. get the job? Will it be somewhere there’s a school I can attend? Do I prepare myself to say goodbye to the friends we’ve made here and the fabulous church we love? Or do I have the freedom to put down roots?

Then there’s my own struggle to know what I really want concerning school and education. I’m feeling more and more uncertain whether I want to be a full-time music student again. I recall how madly stressed out I was before and I just don’t know if I want to go back to that level of stress. Nor do I want to have my time with R. get crowded out, especially since he has just finished his education and we’re still unencumbered by the responsibility of children.

A part of me simply wants to enjoy the freedom and flexibility we have right now and then in a couple years to start a family and focus on being a good mom. Then there’s this nagging voice in the back of my head that says I’m somehow less if I don’t complete my degree. I want to complete my degree, but sometimes I think it’s just to prove something; maybe to myself and maybe to the world.

I’m sure I’m stressing over nothing and will look back as I have many times before and see how perfectly God worked everything out. It’s possible that we’ll move to a place where there’s a school that will accept transfer credits from Prairie and I can complete my degree at a more moderate pace. Meanwhile, I’m on the edge and wondering.