A Record to Break!

My grandparents just celebrated 60 years of marriage!!! In an age when marriage has become disposable, this is a record to be sure! And I’m thankful to have such a heritage! R and I are both blessed to have parents that have remained committed to each other over the years and I’m certain that is due at least in part to their parents. A living example!

But records are meant to be broken and so we intend to do just that! So we say, we’ll meet your 60 and raise it by 20!! Happy Anniversary Grandma & Grandpa!!!! You make us all proud!!

Gotta Brag Once in Awhile.....

I just have to brag on my sweet husband and the precious Valentine’s Day he gave me! It started with a single, red rose before we were even out of bed yesterday morning. Along with a kiss of course!! Then his gift to me was our wedding vows that he printed, framed and matted himself. They are now hanging on our living room wall! At lunch time, he showed up at work with a dozen red roses and a sweet note! After work…dinner at a restaurant we’ve wanted to try just off the river. And there’s more! We arrive home and I find a trail of rose petals leading up the stairs and vases of roses all over in our bedroom. To top off the evening we watched a sweet, romantic movie that he let me pick (The Lake House with Sandra Bullock…check it out, it’s great!). I feel like a princess and am so thankful for the precious husband God has given me! Marriage with him makes every day feel like Valentine’s Day.
A celebration of LOVE…………………….

Perfect Timing!

Not too early so that we wouldn’t have had the opportunity to learn the lessons in trust and experience deepened relationship with the Lord…….
Not too late so that we couldn’t pay the bills…….
The Lord provided the most ideal job for R. at just the right time! We’re so very thankful to the Lord for His faithfulness and provision!!!
Thank you to all of you who prayed for and encouraged us in the waiting! We are blessed indeed.

“I think He’s talking to ME!”

God has my number! It started with Thursday when I took a mental/emotional sick day off from work. I’ve been depressed lately with my impatience and concern about when and where R. will get a job and this depression has carried over in our marriage and my walk with the Lord and my whole outlook on life.

Thursday morning found me sitting on the couch with Bible in hand and much on my heart. In addition to feeling frustrated about waiting for a job to open up for R., I felt like I had somehow let the Lord down and that I had blown it by not being strong and confident in Him. My prayer was for the Lord to show me His grace! I immediately recalled the verse in Isaiah about waiting on the Lord and flying on wings like eagles. The significance to me, though, was in one of the preceding verses where it says,

“Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and strengthens the powerless.” (Is. 40:28,29)

His understanding is unsearchable….He’s not angry with me! He doesn’t despise my weakness and frailty!! This and numerous other verses and time in worship helped to lift my spirits and encourage my heart.

Still, on Sunday morning I woke up overwhelmed that the weekend was almost over and there was so much yet to do before Monday rolled around. In retrospect I think that the devil was trying to discourage me from going to church and receiving a blessing!! In Sunday School we were talking about fear and how God despises fear because it separates us in our relationship with Him unlike anything else. That was one of those light-bulb moments for me when I connected the dots based on other familiar Scriptures. I’ll explain.

We are called to fear the Lord and told that this is the beginning of Wisdom. The Lord is the only One we are to fear because He is sovereign over all things. When we fear something that is under His control and dominion, we are exalting that person or situation as more powerful than God. That is why He cannot abide fear in our hearts.

Then fast-forward to the main service. Pastor was talking about trust and what hinders us from trusting the Lord, etc. A statement he made continues to roll around in my head. He said that if we’re looking for the “next thing” to make us happy, (whether that’s marriage, or a new job, or moving to a different location) then we’re not trusting the Lord and finding our happiness in Him and we have raised up that “next thing” as an idol in our hearts. Ouch. It’s true. And I’ve totally been doing that. I’ve been holding out for R. to find a job with the idea that then we’ll have “arrived” and everything will be wonderful and happy. I’ve made his job an idol in my heart. Ouch again.

Today I am thankful. The Lord has been ministering and speaking to my heart. Some of it is hard stuff, but there’s the underlying truth that He loves me so very much. He cares for me with the heart of a Father. That’s so much bigger than my weaknesses and frailty and happiness and employment. It’s all gonna be okay as long as I keep my eyes on Jesus.

“It will be said on that day,
Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, so that he might save us.
This is the LORD for whom we have waited;
let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.” (Is. 25:9)

Real People...Real Stories

I waited on an Iranian student yesterday. He was polite and friendly, spoke English well, and was dressed like any other college guy. We hear so much today about Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, and the list goes on. The Middle East is a hot topic in the West. With all the talk, it’s easy to forget that within each of these countries are individuals very much like you and I. They have their own unique personalities, interests, talents, dreams, and hopes. They know what it is to fall in love, to rejoice at the birth of a child, to sorrow at the loss of a friend or family member. As children, they played make-believe, went to school, helped out with chores, and likely fought with their siblings. They’re real people with real faces and real stories.

Certainly we hear a lot about those in the Middle East who are terrorists and militants. Their motivation is hatred and they’re not above the murder of the innocent for their own cause and agenda. They’ve caught the public eye because their actions are public and eye-catching. But in the midst of those who are bent upon evil, is the father trying his best to provide for his family, the mother praying that the children will be sheltered from harm, the boy who wants only to play ball in the streets, the girl who doesn’t understand why she’s not allowed to visit her friends after school. They’re real people with real faces and real stories.

They could be me and you………….

Time to Regroup

Saturday was a nearly perfect day spent with my sweetheart. With all the stresses surrounding R’s job search, we realized we needed to take the time to focus on each other and regroup. So we left the television off and spent quality time together. We took a walk in the park, went for a drive, had time in the Word and worship, and just talked a lot about anything and everything. We needed that. It was good to focus on the wonderful blessing with have in each other, rather than putting all our attention on what we don’t have in employment. And we truly have much to be thankful for!!!!!

The Fixed Land

"As soon as you had taken away the Evil One," she said, " and I awoke from sleep, my mind was cleared. It is a wonder to me, Piebald, that for all those days you and I could have been so young. The reason for not yet living on the Fixed Land is now so plain. How could I wish to live there except because it was Fixed? And why should I desire the Fixed except to make sure - to be able on one day to command where I should be the next and what should happen to me? It was to reject the wave - to draw my hands out of Maleldil's, to say to Him, 'Not thus, but thus' - to put in our own power what times should roll towards us...as if you gathered fruits together to-day for to-morrow's eating instead of taking what came. That would have been cold love and feeble trust. And out of it how could we ever have climbed back into love and trust again?"
- Perelandra, by C.S. Lewis

I've been looking for the Fixed Land and wondering why we're not allowed to live there now. Instead of resting in the security of His faithful provision for each day, I've looked to command where we'll be and what will happen to us. Cold love and feeble trust....

Why is it so difficult to trust the One Who defines faithfulness; the One Who has never let us down at any point in our lives? I so want to trust and simply rest in His care, but it's difficult with the passage of time. All the same, I'm sure I'll look back on this struggle and wonder why I was so freaked out, when we finally see what He has for us. I do know it's all going to be alright and that this time of waiting serves a purpose for our good.

Lord, help us to be faithful as we wait upon You!!!!! You are our refuge and hope. We place our lives and our future in Your Hands. Please lead and guide us! Please illuminate the path so that our steps will be sure and without injury. Keep us in Your care. We look to You, Lord Jesus.

Hard Not to See

We continue to wait for news regarding employment for R. It’s been two weeks since his interview and so far we know nothing of the outcome, nor of any other doors for an attorney position. Meanwhile, the end of the month is almost here and that means the end of R’s current job.

Most days I feel at peace that the Lord is taking care of us. But there are times when anxiety rises up in me and I wonder how on earth we’re gonna pay our bills and if there really is a door that will open up for us before our savings runs out. I know the waiting is serving a purpose. I guess if I think about it as a servant, then it reminds me Who is the Master. It’s just hard sometimes not to see what’s coming or when.

Lord, give us strength to wait upon You and to trust!!

Ice Day

I’m told it only happens once every couple of years, but I was pretty glad to experience an ice day here in Texas. No one here knows how to drive in ice and slush so schools and businesses closed down for the day, which meant that R. and I enjoyed relaxing time in the comfort of our little home. We kept the fireplace stocked all day, watched a couple movies, baked muffins, took a nap. It was perfect! I don’t remember many snow days while growing up in the north. Since we home-schooled, it didn’t matter if the weather outside was nasty, the books were still available. Now I feel somehow recompensed for missing out on those days off! Smile. I could get used to a mid-week break!!!

Cold & Cloudy

It's cold and cloudy outside. At least it's not raining at the moment. Still, days like this make me feel unmotivated and somewhat blue. Of course, I don't really need to feel motivated on a Sunday, but I do hate this listlessness I feel nonetheless. I read a friend's blog today and it helped. It's encouraging to know that my feelings are common to humanity and not just my exclusive dysfuntion. We're all strugglers...at least on this side of eternity. All of us are lacking within ourselves. The beauty is that God loves us with full knowledge of our failures and sin. Thank goodness for His faithfulness and consistency. Check out my college buddy's blog and her entry for January 7th. It's good stuff!!
http://www.xanga.com/romanstwelvenine

In the midst

My heart is full this morning. As of right now nothing has changed in our situation and yet I am so thankful to be in this moment in time. R. and I talked last night and discovered that we both sense that God is doing good things in us as we wait and rely upon Him. Regardless of whether R. gets this job or not, it is apparent that whatever position he is placed in, it will not be as a result of his abilities or training, but from the Lord’s Hand. Pressing in to Jesus reminds me of the fullness to be found and known in Him and that the opening and closing of doors are for a greater purpose than just getting a good job. It’s about His glory and His kingdom. In the midst of the waiting and unknown there is peace in Jesus. He has it all in control.

A closed or open door?

Just over a week ago R. woke up and told me that he’d just had a dream about a position he’d applied for. In his dream he spoke with someone within the office regarding his application and was told that his application looked good and he didn’t need to do anything else to it. Also in the dream he received a letter stating that he would be contacted for an interview within the week.

Two days later R. received a phone call from this same office to set up an interview.

Yesterday was interview day. It lasted two hours and R. was pretty worn out when it was all over. He felt he answered their questions well and was true to who he is, yet he came away not really knowing what they thought of him. Still, it’s affirming to know that out of 100 applicants, he was one of only 9 selected to interview and that he was recommended by people he didn’t even know knew he had applied for the job.

So now we wait again and trust the Lord to open the door He has for us. It could be this one, it could not, but I know there is a door and it will be opened. The Lord is faithful. We choose to trust Him.

Please keep praying………….

Freedom Writers - A Must See!

R. and I went to see "Freedom Writers" Saturday night in the theatre. It's an incredible true story that happened in the mid-to-late 90's about a white school teacher who impacts the lives of her inner-city students in a big way!! It was inspiring to see how one person could make such a difference. Go see it! It's great!
http://www.freedomwritersmovie.com/

Bottom Line

God has me here

at this place

on purpose

for a reason.

All He asks

is that I am faithful

and obedient.

Heartsick

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
– Proverbs 13:12

Yesterday I had to decline the financial aid offered to me that would have allowed me to attend Baylor full-time this semester. That combined with coming back to work after a wonderful break and time with family that was much anticipated, has resulted in discouragement and discontent in me. Although I know I have much to be thankful for, I’m having trouble shaking these feelings. I guess one could say my heart feels a little sick. Sigh. Please pray for me and for R. We could both use some encouragement and R. is still seeking an attorney position. Please pray a door will open soon.

Breathtaking!

We spent Christmas in Montana with my parents and sister. It was wonderful to be with them for the holidays and we were able to stay for an entire week. There’s something about going to the old home-place that brings me back in time as if I never left. Mom outdid herself with all sorts of luscious foods, including my favorite, rhubarb pie. Only Mom can make a proper rhubarb pie. Dad entertained us with British mysteries and skunked R. in a long game of board football. Sorry, sweetie. My sis (what can I say?) was her usual adorable self. It was great to be back!

Below are a few pictures. Ah, mountains! Only in the Northwest!

Mt. Ranier in WA from the airplane

R & M and the Mission Mountains

Sisters

A New Year...

I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions, they usually only last a couple months. However, the New Year does feel like a fresh start. It’s a chance to regroup and regain perspective. I find it so easy to get stuck in a rut in the day-to-day of life and so this is a chance to get out of that rut and think about what’s important and what we hope will come in another year.

R. and I talked a lot over Christmas break about wanting more out of life than just going to work and coming home and going to work and coming home, etc. We realize we need to make more time for people and for nourishing friendships. We also desire opportunity to minister to others and to share our faith. And to learn and grow and press in more with the Lord. Looking ahead to a NEW year!!!