Inadequate.....

It's a good day, at least there's no reason for it not to be. Yet I feel on the verge of tears. I'm sure it's a combination of a busy week and the impending visit from Aunt Flow. But I feel blue today.....

Blue and inadequate. I feel like I'm only succeeding professionally, while failing miserably personally. I feel inadequate as a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter. It seems as if all the progress I made at college with learning to be vulnerable has been lost and I'm living again in my shell. At the office that's all that's required, friendliness and a good attitude. No problem.

I feel like I'm just complaining, but sometimes I get so lonely for my girlfriends. Then I feel insecure about having such a hard time finding close friends here who have time for me. Time. I'm afraid of being rejected when I try to reach out to someone because everyone is so busy. So then I don't reach out, or I wait until I'm feeling desperate and then worry that I'll just scare someone off.

I guess it's one of those days. I'm glad it's Friday.